Learning to Walk Tall

He was a friend
but we managed to get into some sort of
argument
I guess it was time to throw down
and swing at each other

I told him I would let him hit me first

He didn't seem sure of himself, but
he did it
Curled up those fingers
bulged out the knuckles
and let fly

My head snapped sharply
to the right

It stung

But it passed quickly

I remained standing still and
just looked at him

"Is that all you've got?"

He swung with his left
My head snapped to the side

More stinging that passed quickly

I stared at him some more

"I'll let you hit me one more time."

I'm not sure what I thought would happen
but one thing was for sure

If he hit me again, I was going to
put him in the hospital

It wasn't a boast

It just felt like a matter of fact
An inevitability

Something was happening here
and one way or another
I was never going to be the same

He looked me up
then he looked me down

His shoulders sank

He turned and walked away

Defeated

I had taken his best
he had nothing left to give

Something dangerous had
just been planted within me
and suddenly I could walk
a little taller

The Music

It was the music

It has always been the music

Pulsating within my veins
my blood
my soul

The hardest and heaviest
most energetic and intense
rhythms I could find

I didn't care about
the lyrical content
most of the time

Just needed to have the
nerves pounding

Thunder crashing in my skull

I would lie on my bed
stare at the ceiling
my eyes burning through the
roof
seeking a glimpse of
that eternal fire
the flames of passion
the molten plasma
of creation itself

And once I was
fully engulfed
I would sit up
and write

I was a teenager then
just a young, ignorant
boy

I still have the music
it's angrier and harder
than ever before
and now I have thirty-six
years of damnation
and sin
and madness
to draw upon
for inspiration

Let's rock

Riding the Orange Rocket

I don't know what
kind of car it was
I wasn't any sort of
car guy at the time
All I know is that
it was mean-looking
and orange

All American muscle

My friend and his
buddy let me
crawl into the back
and the tires
spun out at the
end of my dirt driveway

We took a couple of turns
sharply and maybe a
little too quickly
but when we got to
the long straight
back road
that led to his house
the driver
dropped that
orange beast into
ferociousness

I was pushed hard
into the seat
the engine roared
like a monster

The world passed by like a blur
and I knew for certain that we were going to smash
into a
limp-engined
soft pussy
of an oncoming
vehicle and die
in an inferno
of twisted steel
and devil's hooves

But instead we
slowed and pulled into his
driveway.

It wasn't my
first brush
with death
but it may have
been my first
brush with life